Long Time No Say...

WOW - I could barely remember how to sign into this thing it has been so long since I have written. I was sitting here working this evening and I suddenly just decided I didn't want to finish what I'd started (perhaps this makes me a quitter) and decided to write instead.

My sister wrote me a letter on her blog on the 1st of May. I received a Facebook notice at work that I was tagged in a post and the tag led me to her blog, which was a lovely message to me about the "old days" when we used to keep up with each other through our blog posts and a recap of her life of late.

I had a strange reaction to the post - I think I cried big fat tears for a good 10 minutes. I don't cry big fat tears...I might have a moment of "choked-up" or "shiny eyes" or "distorted mouth" if it is a real doozy, but big fat tears rolling down my face and chin...nope. I was pretty surprised at the amount of gratitude I had for my sister that day and the realization or remembrance of the joy I got from both writing and reading the posts we wrote.

It really begs the question, "why don't I write anymore"? I'm not really sure, but I hope to pick it up again to see if I can recapture the desire to do something I quite liked to do in the past.

My sister is a very entertaining writer - mundane things and events always seem so entertaining when she writes about them. I like the way she sees her world as a sweet kind of funny; at least this is how I read it. I write more...formally (I guess is how I would describe it) not to be confused with 'correctly' or 'properly' and it just doesn't seem to read as "fun" as hers.

My life...well, if I say all I do is work right now, that would be a fairly accurate statement. I certainly do not want to come across as a martyr in this statement, because that is NOT how it is, but I would like to branch out a bit in the near future to do something besides work. Sometimes, when I have down time at home, I feel guilty and wonder what I should be doing...it is really kind of strange. I have to wonder if this is why I don't have much to write about...hmmm.

I will say that I have been determined to go on a BIG trip this year...why work so much if you can't enjoy your labors in some way away from everyday life? Trav and I have a friend that visits us every few months when he goes through town on work and he and I decided a trip to Italy would be FANTASTIC! So much history, such beautiful country, oceans, cities, etc. We decided we would all go to Italy in October. I even started thinking about buying the Rosetta Stone language trainer to see how much Italian I could learn between now and then.

Well, come to find out, Travis is SO NOT interested in checking out Italy...who doesn't want to check out Italy? I don't really understand and I am not sure if I want to bother with pushing for it. I know, however, that October will be here in a blink of the eye and I will be wondering why I didn't push for SOMETHING amazing.

Trav DID remind me that I have some rather lofty ambitions of late:

• Remodel kitchen and main floor bath
• Buy a new car
• Go to Italy
• Buy a hot tub
• Expand the deck at the front of the house

I guess I should scale it back a bit, but, like my boss always says, "big things don't happen if you're only thinking small". 

I AM Grateful,

HB

Operation Kidney Drop

I have been a pretty terrible blogger these past months and have decided this is the week I should change that. Tomorrow my sister Amy will become a living donor and give her left kidney to Joanna. I was invited to join her and be her "care giver" while she is down and out in Ohio and will be here all week with her. It is beyond most of the family why Amy has decided to do this, but I have met many people who have experienced the gift of a living donor, including my own brother-in-law, and others while being out here, that I can understand the enormity of the gift she is giving to this person she met on Facebook.

One thing I wanted to do was document this journey for both Amy and myself - so let's start at the beginning. We got to the airport and met at the gate just fine. The plane loaded up and we were not sitting next to each other...until a lady asked us if she could exchange seats with us so she could sit by her husband...duh, of course. Other than a strange spasm going off in my neck periodically, the first leg of the journey was great. 2nd leg...HURRY, get to the gate and...wait...5 hours. Instead of getting in at 10:30 p.m. we got into Columbus, OH at 3:30 a.m. Instead of picking up the rental car at the airport, we took a taxi to our hotel. I have not been so happy to lay my head in a strange bed for about as long as I could remember - it was absolute heaven.

 

This morning we woke up at the crack of 8 a.m. to house keeping banging on the door (Really? GO AWAY!!!) and then got ready to meet up with Frank and Joanne for breakfast and to pick up our rental car. It has been such a treat to get to know Frank and Joanne a bit since I have been here. Frank asks LOTS of questions and wants to know everything about us and our family and seems to get emotional when he tries to thank Amy for her kidney gift or when he talks about what a special person she is. They are very accomodating and want us to be comfortable while we are here.

I know there is a lot of judgment and uncertainty that has filtered through the family at Amy's decision to give away one of her vital organs to a stranger. I am grateful I have been given the opportunity to get to know the recipient of Amy's kidney to learn about how much spunk and vitality Joanne has; to meet her husband and feel his gratitude on his wife and family's behalf and to meet one of her sons, who lives nearby, and see the sincerity in his face as he thanked Amy for her sacrifice.

Once we picked up the car, Amy and I drove to the store and picked up some stuffing for the dolls she made before she came to Ohio. This seems like a small detail, but it was one of the highlights of my day driving around in a new car, taking wrong turns and experiencing the City a bit. After that it was straight to the hospital, parking in the wrong place, hoofing it a mile, checking in and getting on with the business of giving away a kidney.

First there was a rash of people coming to the room - social workers, doctors, nurses, etc. Amy was poked about 5 times to draw the 12 vials of blood they needed and finally an expert came in and got it done on the first try. When I left her tonight she had just scrubbed with the special soap and was getting ready for an IV to get started through the night. In between the many interruptions we watched a movie, talked a lot, stuffed some dolls, and read some AWESOME letters from home.

The family all contributed to some sweet thoughts, good luck and get well wishes for Amy that I saved up until after she checked in. Amy was surprised and touched by all the great messages. I might get to put some highlights in here later about these.

I fell asleep last night before I could finish this post, so now I can report Amy just went down to surgery. This hospital is very good about keeping everyone up to date. There is a card w/a tracking number on it and a buzzer that alerts you when news is received during and after surgery. It will be a long 4 or more hours, but it feels like I will always know what is going on.

It was weird when they came in for Amy - I all of a sudden got choked up. I remember this same thing happened when Travis went in for his shoulder surgery. There is just something about watching a loved one get wheeled away that always gets to me. I am confident Amy is in good hands today. The staff, doctors and nurses in this hospital are very considerate, knowledgeable and solicitous of their patients needs and concerns. I also know there are a lot of people praying for Amy and Joanne today.

This morning we met Joanne's daughter, Christy. She wrote a lovely letter for Amy. Christy had tried to be a donor for her Mom, but found out during testing she has the same kidney disease her mother has and is not a candidate. It would be difficult to watch your mother go through the stages of kidney failure knowing you may also experience the same thing later in your life. I understand the son we met last night also has the same thing. I think it would be wonderful if they come up with an artificial kidney within the next several years so Christy and Mike will not require a donor the same way their mother needs one. I feel that Amy's generosity must also give them hope that one day, if they need a kidney, they may find someone like Amy who would be able to help.

One of the best notes we got to read was from Amy's son, Archer. Amy told him she wanted some photos of the kids and Lance to take with her so she wouldn't be so lonely without them. I know Amy tried to print some pictures off her phone or computer and was only able to get a few that she really wanted. Archer put together a video for her... I was pretty impressed with the results and I know Amy has appreciated this gift so much.

 

For some reason the whole thing won't download, but it is awesome and I will keep trying to download it right. I think it is because it is a PowerPoint and not an actual video. I really must take some classes to learn how to transfer and download things.

I AM Grateful,
HB

Bart Barker - Our Boy

I need to write this post in honor of our dog, Bart, who has passed on. It has been over two weeks since we said "good bye" to him and it still hurts to think too hard on it. We didn't post about it on Facebook, we really only told a few people about it because it is too hard to talk about without getting emotional. Even now it only took writing the title of this post for my throat to tighten up and my sinuses to sting.

Travis and I have enjoyed talking lately about the quirks of our boy. Remember when…he used to run figure eights in the park chasing the birds, how the birds seemed to tease him and fly low and just out of reach?

Remember when we tried to take him out when Trav would bike and he would run as fast as his short legs could go for about 1 mile and he would soldier on whining with each step trying his hardest to keep up. He would eventually fall back and walk with me, but boy did Bart love to run.

Bart LOVED sleeping on the couch. Recently, we let him adopt an orange blanket that my parents gave us as a house warming gift when we moved to Park City. He would snuggle into that blanket every night and any other blanket he could find. He would scratch around and get the blanket in just the right position so he could snuggle in. Sometimes he would work at it for several minutes until Travis or I would yell at him to settle down, but he was persistent and liked what he liked.

When Bart couldn't jump on the bed anymore, we bought him some stairs. He eventually couldn't use those anymore either because his leg got too bad. We finally stopped lifting him up onto the bed because we were afraid he would do too much damage to his legs when he jumped off during the night. We finally grew a brain and got him some soft beds that he loved to sleep in, barely big enough, but he liked to snuggle in.

Bart loved the Kitty. I feel bad that our cat is the last pet standing in our household. She didn't seem to mind when our cat Izzy went away, but she seems to be a bit more confused now that Bart is gone. They hung out together quite a bit and I have to believe she knows Bart is not coming back.

Bart was also a little stinker. A few years ago when it snowed a TON, I would let Bart outside at night to go potty. One night I went out to see where he was at and looked around the corner to see him walking across the snow over the fence and into the front yard. I caught him and told him to come in and he turned around and went back across the snow bridge and into the house.

We loved to get Bart's hair cut in the summer. He looked like a puppy every time we would take him in. That red collar was the first necklace we bought him…he never took it off. I thought about that recently - he just sort grew into it and we never had to replace it.

I could sit here all night and write about all the ways Bart is missed - normally if I am sitting at the desk typing he is tapping around in the entry and staring at me so I will take him out and then give him a treat before he goes up to bed. Sometimes, if we were watching a loud movie or something, Bart would just put himself to bed. We would go upstairs to see where he went and he would be snuggled in his orange blanket fast asleep.

At the end of his time, he was pretty deaf and going blind. He would stand at the wrong doors to go in or out, we would surprise him on accident by suddenly being next to him when he wouldn't hear us, he would act like he was going to bite Travis when he would pick him up to set him on the couch and Travis would just snuggle into him knowing he wouldn't hurt him. Bart loved Travis so much, he would follow Travis around the house all day long. Trav would avoid going downstairs if he had to grab something off the printer real quick because Bart would be half way down the stairs just to be with him at all times.

It has been an interesting adjustment for both of us. I came home the first week after work and started to ask Travis if Bart had been fed. I look for him when I open the door from the garage so I don't step on him. I miss him ALWAYS greeting me after work; no huge production, he would just be there wagging his tail and waiting for a pat on the head.

Bart was such a huge part of our lives. We do feel we did the right thing letting him go after 16 years with us, but there is a definite void in our home. To remember Bart we took tons of wildflower seeds and spread them all over the hill we can see from our deck. There are animals that go through there all the time and it poured rain the other day, so I am hopeful the seeds will take and they will grow bigger and brighter each year we are here. That will be Bart's hill and we will sit on the deck and look out at the flowers and think about how much brightness he brought into our lives for so many years.

We love and miss you Bart! 

I Am Grateful,
HB

P.S. M - Thank you for your note and the hug.

Cabo San Lucas

WOW!! What a FANTASTIC trip. Travis did such a great job last year we got to go to President's Club in Cabo San Lucas. I think the pictures are the important thing for this post.

I took this right after we got to the hotel. We were starving so went to the outdoor restaurant for a quick bite before we started looking around the place. 

This is our hotel - All inclusive - we ate like pigs and everything was delicious.

This is our hotel room before we messed it up with all our gear. 

This is the view from our room in the mornings. We could see the spray from whales each morning in the ocean. 

This is one of 5 pools that were on the resort. We really only went to the beach and used one main pool, but there was lots of water to enjoy. 

Travis loved getting in the water at the beach…I just lounged around and got sandy. 

On our 2nd day there we went into Cabo and took a boat ride.

Loved the Pelicans - they were everywhere.

We had a glass bottom boat and could see fish and scuba divers near the reefs. 

This is Lover's Beach - the Sea of Cortez is on one side and on the other is the Pacific Ocean. 

This is a formation that is shaped like Cabo's peninsula (is that what it is called?).

I can't remember what this is called - I call it the eye of the needle - you can see through this hole to the Pacific Ocean. The water comes barreling through this hole in crashing white water waves. 

This is the famous arch and rock formations known in Cabo. The one on the very left looks like Scoobi Doo…that is what the boat driver told us…pretty funny. 

Seals are everywhere…and stinky.

Coming back to the marina there are certain boats the seals will jump up on and ride hoping to get fresh fish. The big one is Poncho - we were told he is the only one you can touch. The others will bite. The guy in the yellow shorts was sitting down when Poncho jumped up and he threw his drink in the air he was so surprised. It was hilarious because our driver said "There is Poncho - he will catch that boat" sure enough he jumped right up and we got to watch the whole thing. 

O

On the 3rd day we got to choose an activity - Travis went golfing and said it was the best course he had ever golfed at. I chose whale watching. Most of the 3 hours was spouts coming out of the water and spray going up in the air. 

But then this happened…My heart about leapt out of my chest. This guy was beautiful and jumped out of the water about 5 times. It was AMAZING!!! We were so lucky to see it. It was very difficult to get any real pictures, but I was able to get a few cool ones out of the 50 I took that day.

 This was my idea of a dream vacation. We RELAXED and just enjoyed each other. There were some fancy dinners and we got to meet some new people that we enjoyed, but the best part was waking up early to watch the sun come up, going for a lonely swim, dining out, taking a nap on the beach, going back for dinner and back to the beach or the pool. I couldn't make calls and was totally disconnected from my life back home after my 30 minutes of free internet access was over. I had no choice but to unwind…it was lovely and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to enjoy such a lovely place. 

This is the only photo you will see of me on the beach…we went from this...

…to a blizzard when we got home…it was bizarre. Even so, it is always good to be home. 

I Am Grateful,

HB

Quote: “The sea will grant each man new hope, and sleep will bring dreams of home.” Christopher Columbus

Be, Do, Have

In sales meeting the other day my boss was talking about the principle of  "Have, Do, Be" vs. "Be, Do, Have"…example:

If I had a lot of money (have), I would buy things (do) that would make me happy (be) vs. if I am a person that has a plan (be) and follows it daily (do), I would have a lot of money (have), which would give me the freedom to pursue my dreams.

This idea resonated with me personally on many levels. I understand I need to BECOME the person I want to be before I can have everything I want in my life.

Take the three pillars: Relationships/Health/Finances

I must become the kind of partner I want to be to my spouse in order to develop the strong relationship I desire to have with my husband. I must exercise and eat right before I can experience the type of activities I want to participate in. I must have an executable financial plan and follow-it before I can create the type of investment opportunities to generate passive income for retirement, etc.

I believe, in this day and age, we tend to think in the opposite way - we think we need to "have" in order to "do" and "be" better. This type of thinking smacks of blame and a lack of accountability that drives me bonkers.

It is very interesting to me when I am working with a person relocating to a new area who wants to be reassigned to a new agent because they do not feel they are getting the service they anticipated. I am always open to this because sometimes personalities clash and the fit of the agent is just not right or the agent has not set clear expectations with the client. This is normal and, although it does not happen often, it does happen.

It really gets interesting to me when I move the same client two or three times to a new agent…this is when I start to wonder if the individual shouldn't take an inward look at how they may be responsible for the situation. This is when it starts to feel like entitlement or bad communication or unrealistic expectations, but it is always the other persons fault or shortcomings that creates the "bad" situation.

There seems to be lack of accountability everywhere I look. My biggest shortfall in this area is usually with my husband. At work it is fairly easy for me to be accountable for my short falls, but at home, I like to blame my husband for lots of things. Let's just say I eat a lot of humble pie and those suckers are rich in fat and calories - very heavy tough to chew thru.

The truth is…I know I am accountable for EVERYTHING that happens in my life. I believe I am even accountable for that person that keeps changing agents. This is an irritating thought, but it can also be empowering when it is managed as a way to do things better next time or to educate a client on expectations, perhaps ask more questions and understand a new point of view.

I am very blessed to have such a large platform to learn from even if I don't love all the lessons.

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." --Mahatma Gandhi

My Word is Law

There are some office meetings when we have a guest speaker and is usually one of the office agents who will train about a principle or strategy in real estate. This past week we heard from an agent that talked about making your word as law. Here is some of what I wrote down:

Integrity is the state of being whole and complete, undivided in word and deed, integrated, intact and uncorrupted. Here are some examples she gave us to measure ourselves by:

1) Having complete transparency
2) Reliability - do what you do well
3) Complete tasks as they are meant to be done or better - no cutting corners
4) Honoring your word
5) Do what you know, what you said you'd do and do it on time
6) Do what others expect you to do
7) Saying when NOT doing something or communicating if you are not getting it done on time

She went on to talk about the difference between a goal and a commitment. It has been a journey of many years, but she now understands a commitment is law - it is unbreakable - it holds weight in her mind and heart.

This agent pointed out that our minds are used to getting away with promises we do not keep - Some personal examples that stand out blatantly in my life "I will be home by 6:30" "I will not eat between meals" "I will write for at least 30 minutes each day" - once I started to pinpoint certain things I promise myself and others, I started to feel very poorly about my own personal integrity.

I have always thought of myself as a pretty upright person - I am a diligent communicator, I generally love people and treat people well, I am quick to apologize when I have wronged someone, I MEAN ALL the promises I make to myself and others when I make them - my intentions are pure and my agenda is not usually selfish, but my word is certainly NOT law when I break it down.

What causes this lack of personal integrity in our lives?  The killers of integrity, look like this:

1) Believing the drunk monkey - These are excuses we use to not keep our word i.e. "I did not sleep well last night so I will skip the gym today" or "If I just finish these last two things it will make tomorrow better, so it is ok to be home later than I promised"
2) Big Ego - self importance
3) Sneaky Agenda - sometimes so sneaky we don't even realize what our own agenda really is
4) Not trusting ourselves
5) Focusing on negative thoughts and complaining
6) Being TOO serious

So, if I am generally a decent person and, for the most part, try to do what I say I will, why beat myself up and put so much pressure on myself to make my word law? This agent feels there is great power in integrity - power over our mind. She defines "power" as "the rate in which our goals translate into reality". This actually sounds pretty worth while and it also sounds like I would be a better person and people would want to do business with me.

It was suggested that we start with making 10 commitments each month to begin experiencing the power of integrity and our word as law in our lives. These commitments are not to be confused with goals. If I have a goal not to eat chocolate this month - I should only make it one of my 10 things if I truly do not intend to eat chocolate - once I write it on my 10 things - it becomes law - it is unbreakable - it holds weight in my mind and heart - there is no longer a choice - I will NOT eat chocolate. As I have been thinking about this, I think I will give myself 3 things to work on, this feels more doable to me.

By making commitments to ourselves, and keeping them, we will begin the road back to believing in our own word and creating power in our lives. I appreciated the fact that this agent shared with us the journey she has been on. She told us it has taken her years to understand and live this premise, but she is now one of the most successful agents in our office and I am sure I will believe her the next time she tells me she will do something.

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." -- David Lloyd George

Why Not Me?

About a month ago I was writing in my journal about my dreams. Frankly, I feel very blessed and lucky to have what I have and am grateful for all my blessings, so sometimes it feels a little…selfish (?) or ungrateful to "want" more. I finally decided to just write down my biggest wants to explore the feeling and figure out if I really want what I think I want.

I wrote about my dream house: 4 beds 3 baths, 3 car garage, main floor master w/big bathroom and soaker tub, gourmet kitchen w/open concept floor plan, vaulted ceiling with wood beams, beautiful landscaping, multiple decks and outdoor kitchen in a wooded setting w/easy access to outdoor trails and activities - I went into quite a bit of detail beyond this, but you get the idea.

The very next day I got an email about the HDTV dream home - enter to win 2 times daily. It was SO AWESOME to open the dream home photos up and see the house I had JUST written about in actual form. I couldn't believe how close it was to what I wrote - it is only 3 bedrooms and only has a 2 car garage, but everything else was pretty much SPOT ON. I actually opened the pictures and read the journal to make sure it was as close as I remembered writing it - IT WAS!!

I actually get excited every time I enter to win and think - why not me? I have as good a chance as anyone else, why not dream for a few weeks about the possibilities? Someone has to win. It has been a fun few weeks dreaming and mentally kicking myself if I forget to enter one weekend.

If nothing else comes of it, I have been coming up with ways to bring some of the design and dream alive in my own house and I have really been working on organizing various spaces. Lots more to do, but it is starting to come together.

Dream Big - what do you have to lose?

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "If you want to win anything - a race, your self, your life - you have to go a little berserk." George Sheehan