Be, Do, Have

In sales meeting the other day my boss was talking about the principle of  "Have, Do, Be" vs. "Be, Do, Have"…example:

If I had a lot of money (have), I would buy things (do) that would make me happy (be) vs. if I am a person that has a plan (be) and follows it daily (do), I would have a lot of money (have), which would give me the freedom to pursue my dreams.

This idea resonated with me personally on many levels. I understand I need to BECOME the person I want to be before I can have everything I want in my life.

Take the three pillars: Relationships/Health/Finances

I must become the kind of partner I want to be to my spouse in order to develop the strong relationship I desire to have with my husband. I must exercise and eat right before I can experience the type of activities I want to participate in. I must have an executable financial plan and follow-it before I can create the type of investment opportunities to generate passive income for retirement, etc.

I believe, in this day and age, we tend to think in the opposite way - we think we need to "have" in order to "do" and "be" better. This type of thinking smacks of blame and a lack of accountability that drives me bonkers.

It is very interesting to me when I am working with a person relocating to a new area who wants to be reassigned to a new agent because they do not feel they are getting the service they anticipated. I am always open to this because sometimes personalities clash and the fit of the agent is just not right or the agent has not set clear expectations with the client. This is normal and, although it does not happen often, it does happen.

It really gets interesting to me when I move the same client two or three times to a new agent…this is when I start to wonder if the individual shouldn't take an inward look at how they may be responsible for the situation. This is when it starts to feel like entitlement or bad communication or unrealistic expectations, but it is always the other persons fault or shortcomings that creates the "bad" situation.

There seems to be lack of accountability everywhere I look. My biggest shortfall in this area is usually with my husband. At work it is fairly easy for me to be accountable for my short falls, but at home, I like to blame my husband for lots of things. Let's just say I eat a lot of humble pie and those suckers are rich in fat and calories - very heavy tough to chew thru.

The truth is…I know I am accountable for EVERYTHING that happens in my life. I believe I am even accountable for that person that keeps changing agents. This is an irritating thought, but it can also be empowering when it is managed as a way to do things better next time or to educate a client on expectations, perhaps ask more questions and understand a new point of view.

I am very blessed to have such a large platform to learn from even if I don't love all the lessons.

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." --Mahatma Gandhi

My Word is Law

There are some office meetings when we have a guest speaker and is usually one of the office agents who will train about a principle or strategy in real estate. This past week we heard from an agent that talked about making your word as law. Here is some of what I wrote down:

Integrity is the state of being whole and complete, undivided in word and deed, integrated, intact and uncorrupted. Here are some examples she gave us to measure ourselves by:

1) Having complete transparency
2) Reliability - do what you do well
3) Complete tasks as they are meant to be done or better - no cutting corners
4) Honoring your word
5) Do what you know, what you said you'd do and do it on time
6) Do what others expect you to do
7) Saying when NOT doing something or communicating if you are not getting it done on time

She went on to talk about the difference between a goal and a commitment. It has been a journey of many years, but she now understands a commitment is law - it is unbreakable - it holds weight in her mind and heart.

This agent pointed out that our minds are used to getting away with promises we do not keep - Some personal examples that stand out blatantly in my life "I will be home by 6:30" "I will not eat between meals" "I will write for at least 30 minutes each day" - once I started to pinpoint certain things I promise myself and others, I started to feel very poorly about my own personal integrity.

I have always thought of myself as a pretty upright person - I am a diligent communicator, I generally love people and treat people well, I am quick to apologize when I have wronged someone, I MEAN ALL the promises I make to myself and others when I make them - my intentions are pure and my agenda is not usually selfish, but my word is certainly NOT law when I break it down.

What causes this lack of personal integrity in our lives?  The killers of integrity, look like this:

1) Believing the drunk monkey - These are excuses we use to not keep our word i.e. "I did not sleep well last night so I will skip the gym today" or "If I just finish these last two things it will make tomorrow better, so it is ok to be home later than I promised"
2) Big Ego - self importance
3) Sneaky Agenda - sometimes so sneaky we don't even realize what our own agenda really is
4) Not trusting ourselves
5) Focusing on negative thoughts and complaining
6) Being TOO serious

So, if I am generally a decent person and, for the most part, try to do what I say I will, why beat myself up and put so much pressure on myself to make my word law? This agent feels there is great power in integrity - power over our mind. She defines "power" as "the rate in which our goals translate into reality". This actually sounds pretty worth while and it also sounds like I would be a better person and people would want to do business with me.

It was suggested that we start with making 10 commitments each month to begin experiencing the power of integrity and our word as law in our lives. These commitments are not to be confused with goals. If I have a goal not to eat chocolate this month - I should only make it one of my 10 things if I truly do not intend to eat chocolate - once I write it on my 10 things - it becomes law - it is unbreakable - it holds weight in my mind and heart - there is no longer a choice - I will NOT eat chocolate. As I have been thinking about this, I think I will give myself 3 things to work on, this feels more doable to me.

By making commitments to ourselves, and keeping them, we will begin the road back to believing in our own word and creating power in our lives. I appreciated the fact that this agent shared with us the journey she has been on. She told us it has taken her years to understand and live this premise, but she is now one of the most successful agents in our office and I am sure I will believe her the next time she tells me she will do something.

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." -- David Lloyd George

Why Not Me?

About a month ago I was writing in my journal about my dreams. Frankly, I feel very blessed and lucky to have what I have and am grateful for all my blessings, so sometimes it feels a little…selfish (?) or ungrateful to "want" more. I finally decided to just write down my biggest wants to explore the feeling and figure out if I really want what I think I want.

I wrote about my dream house: 4 beds 3 baths, 3 car garage, main floor master w/big bathroom and soaker tub, gourmet kitchen w/open concept floor plan, vaulted ceiling with wood beams, beautiful landscaping, multiple decks and outdoor kitchen in a wooded setting w/easy access to outdoor trails and activities - I went into quite a bit of detail beyond this, but you get the idea.

The very next day I got an email about the HDTV dream home - enter to win 2 times daily. It was SO AWESOME to open the dream home photos up and see the house I had JUST written about in actual form. I couldn't believe how close it was to what I wrote - it is only 3 bedrooms and only has a 2 car garage, but everything else was pretty much SPOT ON. I actually opened the pictures and read the journal to make sure it was as close as I remembered writing it - IT WAS!!

I actually get excited every time I enter to win and think - why not me? I have as good a chance as anyone else, why not dream for a few weeks about the possibilities? Someone has to win. It has been a fun few weeks dreaming and mentally kicking myself if I forget to enter one weekend.

If nothing else comes of it, I have been coming up with ways to bring some of the design and dream alive in my own house and I have really been working on organizing various spaces. Lots more to do, but it is starting to come together.

Dream Big - what do you have to lose?

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "If you want to win anything - a race, your self, your life - you have to go a little berserk." George Sheehan

Happy Chinese New Year!

Jay, the foreign exchange student staying with us this school year, told us about the Chinese new year, which happens to be today, so we had a mini celebration this evening. We made a hot pot - the spiciest thing you will ever eat besides a straight out ghost pepper - w/lots of veggies, noodles, chicken and beef in it.

The last time we ate the hot pot with Jay was with my brother-in-law, Lance. I remember looking at him and asking him if he was eating or running up a steep hill? He was breathing so hard - it was SO funny. I am starting to think Travis and I have a very high tolerance for spicy dishes - Yum!

The Chinese New Year, or Spring Festival, is the biggest holiday celebrated in China. I remember Travis telling me about the holiday when he lived in Taiwan and sending me a photo with people crowding the streets at night wearing motorcycle helmets and shooting off bottle rockets to celebrate.

Jay told me it is a day to honor their ancestors and he will typically go to the country to visit his Father's family and put gifts on the graves, then the kids will receive red envelopes with money in them. I also read they will clean house during this time period in order to "sweep away any ill-fortune and make way for good incoming luck". From what I can tell it lasts about 15 days.

We gave Jay a red envelope w/some money in it - red is a lucky color in Chinese tradition.

At the end of the day, Chinese New Year seems like four American Holidays rolled into one longer celebration - Christmas, Memorial Day, New Years Eve/Day & Spring Break. I know it is an important day and I hope Jay feels like we gave it a go for him.

I Am Grateful,
HB

Quote: "It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation." Dr. Rob Gilbert

WAY TO GO!! Number 1!!!

I already shared this on Facebook, but I had to write about it here as well. My husband went to his company kick-off last week and brought home a hilacious cold and fever AND this award and invitation to attend the company Presidents Club in Cabo San Lucas at the end of March. 

The last time we went to something like this was about 15 years ago. I didn't even realize companies still did this since the economy tanked, but Trav's company does and I am so proud of him. Here are some added tidbits that I love about this years work experience:

1) Travis was number 1 in his region in sales

2) Travis was number 3 in the company in sales

3) Travis finished at 170% over quota for the year

4) I often ask Travis if he ever works a full day

That last is just me feeling sorry for myself after a long day at the office. It would save a lot of time if I didn't have to commute to work every day, but I am beginning to realize the social aspect of a job is very rewarding and I would miss it quite a bit. In case you are confused, Travis works from home and misses the daily interaction in an office setting. (random)

This is me EATING MY WORDS! I think I will refrain from asking Travis about his schedule and work hours...he is doing JUST fine!

Look at that guy...I LOVE this photo. Trav's beard got huge this year and I love it and I made him pose for this picture...so awesome.

I Am Grateful,

HB

QUOTE: "Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." Reggie Leach 

Do it Right...

Today I had the rare opportunity to give back to another Relocation Director. Each month there is a call/webinar that all the Relocation directors under our brand get to listen to. On the call this month our office was mentioned and, since I was on the call, my name was also mentioned. The reason for the mention really did not have much to do with me directly, but, what the heck, it is good press right?

Later this afternoon I received a call from another Director, also present on the webinar, who is in the beginning stages of starting a relocation department for her company. One of the first things I did as a new director was call other directors under the same brand to get advice and ideas...I was very happy to be on the receiving end of the call today. If you've met me, you are aware I am a know-it-all (hopefully not too obnoxiously) and love to give advice. I pretty much threw up all over her with my brilliant ideas!! Looking back on it, I am chuckling a bit.

I did give her the best advice I could think of, which was "start your department as you intend to go on". I am working with a new system right now and am finding out the most important thing I can do is get the processes set up correctly from the very beginning in order to capitalize on the benefits of the program. The same is true of creating a department. If you plan to set things up one way and then change them after "people get used to the idea" you will be in a world of hurt. Rip the bandaid off up front. Make the hard decisions NOW so you are not fighting that up hill battle every year after this one.

Tomorrow I will spend 30 minutes or so to put together an email with information on some business development ideas and things I have seen working for me over the last almost two years. Business development is, after all, full of possibilities and the foundation of what is possible is simply my belief in what I am capable of creating (this is a George-ism), I hope I can share that vision with Cheryl...and, to be honest, with myself as I work on my business plan again this evening.

I am so grateful for the assistance I have received, and continue to receive, from others in the Relocation Industry. There are some very generous people out there and it is humbling to be able to give some of the advice and guidance back to another person who is in the same position I was in a very short time ago.

GOOD LUCK CHERYL!! Enjoy the Journey!

I Am Grateful,
HB

QUOTE: "I've got to keep breathing. It'll be the worst business mistake if I don't." Sir Nathan Meyer Rothschild

Just Being Alive

I was up at my Parent's home this weekend with two of my sisters. We were able to go pick out our family photos we all had taken recently and then I got to spend a few hours just catching up with them all. We talked about ALL kinds of things, we reminisced, we gave each other a bad time, Keri did my hair, we ate good food prepared by Amy, etc. It was really lovely.

One thing my Mom said that has stuck with me is how grateful she feels each day to be alive - not like she is afraid to die, but that she is grateful she is experiencing life. I thought it was a beautiful thing to hear and it makes me feel like she is happy; this makes me happy.

The family photos turned out pretty good I think. We did one big family photo and then each family unit did their own sitting. There was one of my parents that I REALLY loved and am excited to get a copy of - They look so happy, especially Mom; she looks like she is just on the verge of laughing. I think I will cherish this photo for a very long time and am excited to get my copy of it.

Family and Relationships 2014:

1) What do I want?

I want to spend more quality time with my family this year. I see them often enough for family dinners and such, but I am looking for a few more one on one experiences with them. I also want the time I spend with my husband to hold more value and quality to it. Not always, I like watching TV shows with Trav, but I also want to start creating some lasting memories around the things we do together. I am still working out what those things will be, but I know I will figure it out.

2) What three things will be different this year?

• I will l look for new things to try with my family and husband. 
• I will say "yes" more often.
• I have a fairly quick temper; I want to work on not reacting so quickly when I get irritated. I will take a deep breath before I respond - there are a lot of things that can go through your mind quickly on a good breath. I will breath in the things I love about my husband - I made a list to chant to myself each day, for example:
• Travis tells me every day that he loves me and I love him
• Travis calls me at least once each day to see how things are going
• Travis wants to spend time with me
• Travis is generous with his assistance around the house, preparing meals & cleaning
• Travis ALWAYS shovels and/or snow blows the drive-way without complaint

I am looking forward to improving some already great relationships in 2014...All's good, but it can always be better. 

I Am Grateful to be experiencing life, 

HB

Quote: "My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." Oprah Winfrey